As I look back at the year 2009...

I'll live the rest of my life admiring that there was such a year called 2009...

As if it was a little kid who was still in the process of knowing what's on in this world...Once taken by dad to the lake, watching the beauty of the lake at sun set...The blue red/orange skies...I completely forgot a lake can somehow be dangerous., forgetting it's the same place where people drown...It's the same place where you can find dangerous animals such as crocodiles and in this case only Malawians and few other friends will understand that better...So I'm this kid whose eyes was all set on the beauty that was front of me with my Dad right there. It feels so beautiful, so peaceful and so safe with Dad by my side...Maybe this wasn't the case with everyone else...Who knows this might have been the same place where so and so drown ! Maybe this was the same place where someone got attacked or maybe got even killed by a crocodile if not crocodiles...But as for me it was safe, so assuring, so peaceful not only because my eyes where completely taken by the beauty that was there, but also that Dad was so there with me...As kids we're always assured security when with our parents and I'm sorry in this case I'll have to go with Dad because that's what the picture is showing...Many times when we go on an adventure with our dads as little five year olds or somewhere there, no matter how risky those adventures maybe we just feel so secure because Dad is there...That's how I felt...However, in our comfort, excitement there's one little part of our little curious seves which push us to ask " Dad, why this? why that? How this? How that?". Dads try to be dads by dinging deeper into their experiences of of life and try to give us as many answers as appropriate. But to some level we ask too much, a kid like myself I use and to some level I continue to ask too much..Dads reach a point where they find it either too much or too early to give answers to some questions and to some level there are other questions whose answers remain mysteries to even our dads...On that score, honest dads will swallow their mr-know-it-all prides and say " Son, sorry I also don't know how that works" or " How that came into existence" or "Why things work that way"...As a little curious kid I'd find that as my assigment to take with me for homework, but it become so hopeless to work on if "Dad also said he doesn't know"...
But this year 2009 which just has few minutes to go and never ever to come back has been a year which I took the right Dad or rather the right Dad took me to such a quite place where there only seemed to have been only me and Him...He gave answers to all questions and I was left filling like wanting to say "Dad by any chance is there anything of me that you also wanna know? Like is there anything you want to ask from me too? I've asked far too much and You've answered everything and I feel like being a little 'unselfish' or just to keep this 'conversation' going do you also have questions about us kids?" And I so know He knows everything and I so know nothing surpasses His understanding and it was so childish of me to ask such a babyish question...I didn't mean to really ask Him to ask me back, I was just overwhelmed, actually beautifully overwhelmed by Him having gone through all my questions of life and I was left with no question unanswered...
There was much in life that took place in 2009 and I couldn't have found any better way to reflect on my year other than the complicated way I just used to describe it, but I know it's so clear to some to understand what I meant and I actually wanted only those who found it that easy to get what I was trying to say...It was meant for them...
It has been that year where I came close to losing the very dearest person who played a big role in leading me this far...A year that with some fears, doubts & questions(which later on got answered) I took a pen and paper to writing this thing they call Will...A year where after working so hard for a course which I was well-positioned to finish with not less than a B grade only to give it up a month before the end after having worked with it for seven seven months, why? "Life was too much and I needed to offload myself from some things..."
A year where I came to know what exactly is the meaning of Gethsemane is for a christian today; a place in our life where one is only found themselves alone with God and the devil...A place where it's so hard to lift our whole faith to God and a place where giving up to the devil becomes so close, but need to carry on up to the cross...A place of PRAYER & betrayal...A place where the Peters, Johns & James in our lives sleep instead of standing with you in prayer all time...It wasn't because they did not care nor did they not love as they did before, but that it was too late at night only the one who wasn't sleepy was the one to stay awake...A place where after the Peters, the James, the Johns try their whole best to stand with you, but there reached a point you find only yourself the only one awake and the only one facing Judas and his group...
Having faced all those, I ended up finding myself so victorious...

{ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Frfs_gfk33U }Having known sickness and smelling death I understood healings and resurrection better, having known complications, I understood solutions better, having known stress, I understood peace even better...With a smile that will so last forever I came to wholly understand that all things work good for those who love God, who are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28-29)...And that in all things we conquer overwhelmingly through Him who loved us (37)...And above all NOTHING will be able to separate us from the Love of God in Jesus Christ our Lord...It has been a wonderful year...If God sends you to Niniveh, you aren't the one to deal with their hard-heartened lives...If God asks you "Son of man can these bones live?" Much as they look dried and scattered all over tell Him "Lord you alone knows" Ezekiel 37:3...It has been that year too...
A year dried bones were collected back together...I couldn't say anything in detail and this was the only way I could manage to say this was 2009 to me...Had I known it was gonna be that way I'd have been so afraid and weary about going into it, but had I known it'd have ended this way, I wouldn't have put myself in a situation of wanting to lose hope and faith because all those were meant to work good for me...Thank you God in your designing of years you included that year called 2-0-0-9. I fell in love with this year to a point I'm hardly letting it go..At same time I'm so surprised how I got to end up loving it this much...I reached a point where I gave it all to Him or He just took it over without wanting me to do any of my incapable part... While others will say they survived this year I choose to say I lived this year and I feel so so blessed I got to be part of those who lived this year...While at some point not only I called them not faithfull, but I myself too was unfaithful at times, but You so remained Faithful in it all and that's the sole reason I am this now...